I said teenagers, didn't I? Can't blame them. If you live in a town populated by adults this dim-witted, pulling performance art-like pranks may be your only salvation. I hope you make it out of there alive, kids. And stay away from meth.

When I was a sophomore in college, I found one of my professors making fun of atrocious student writing/spelling with a like-minded colleague. It was a sport born of frustration, and I could relate -- after all, I had to be in class with many of these so-called students who couldn't even bother to turn on spell check. I remember 2 of the Hall of Famers in the spelling category: "suddle" (subtle) and "peddle-stool" (pedestal).

The Web may be making bad writing and moronic spelling less conspicuous, but it doesn't mean that the sport is dead. It's one thing to have come across atrocious writing on a Geocities page or Baby's Very Own Inarticulate Conspiracy Small Press, but with any kind of organized commercial publishing venture, it's fair game for mockery and pranks.

This article out of the Quad City Times of Davenport, IA involves Ronal McDonald dolls placed in a trailer park (teenagers, don't you think?) and was written by a Stephen King fanboy who fancies himself a reporter.

TITLE: "Camanche road sprouts Ronald McDonald dolls"
PERPETRATOR: Bill Wundram
REGION: Iowa, USA
EXHIBIT A: "Dau showed me one of the two dolls he kept. They have very spooky faces, which all the more reminded me of a Stephen King short story."

Mr. Wundram's phone number is listed right on the article, and I've taken the liberty of reposting it here.

WHO says that suicide takes more lives than murder and war put together. Considering the number of current military conflicts (36), it's a scary static. I wish I could say 'surprising', but it makes perfect sense that people would be in a hurry to get out of a world that possesses the social and technological tools to take on poverty, injustice and violence, but keeps finding excuses not to.

The worldwide destruction of coral reef habitats is one of the more depressing things in a world that has no lack of depressing tales of human depravity. While no solution is a cure-all and nothing beats an International Accord to Stop Acting Like Self-Destructive Idiots, there are some brave experiments going on that makes me less depressed:
Jolts of electricity revive damaged coral reef

Look at the photos and feel happiness. The Global Coral Reef Alliance carries more updates on other restoration projects, and can always use some cash as well.